Isn't It Ironic...Dontcha Think?

Okay. If I don't get this off my chest soon, it's gonna sit there and smolder and I'm gonna go paranoid. (Go? I'm already there.)

In the world of Facebook that I occasionally frequent, there is a wonderful application called Honesty Box. I'm pretty sure that it and it only is responsible for most of the high school dramas that go on in this country-slash-world. Up until now, the only experiences I've had with it have been a word of congratulation, a few messages from Anne that I rolled my eyes at, and a very sweet compliment that made my night. But tonight, I received a very short thing that stated that, in essence, I am a snob. And I'm pretty sure I know who sent it....at least, it's narrowed down to two people. Mia? Esmerelda? Will either of you two cultured people volunteer yourselves?

It's just ironic, really. I feel like more often than not I'm on the receiving end of snobbery. I've never been extremely popular, and I equate that to the fact that I'm.......I don't know. Different.

Maybe it's true! Maybe I am aloof and that's why people and I have issues!

You know, I catch myself being inwardly uppity. I mean, I like clothes and class and their variants. Add that to the fact that I suck--suck--suck!--SUUUCK!--in social situations and the equation leads to the conclusion that I am, in fact, a frigid, self-centered witch too caught up in herself to care about other people.

Which, P.S., is a lie.

Now, let me get back to caring ONLY about myself!

........you know, I'm just drawing this conclusion from my head here. Half the stuff up there (oh, more than half----five-sixths, easily) is purely from my own imagination. But I'm pretty sure it's true.

Sad thing is, I like Mia. She's extremely cool. And I don't really know Esmerelda, but I think I'd maybe like her if I did. Maybe.

But I'll never know, since I'm a snob.

And for the record--Esmerelda, Mia? What are you???

It is really not fair. I can't find my middle ground here. It's either snob or reject. ARRRRRRGH!

Maybe they aren't. Maybe the only thing keeping me from fully belonging to a big group is me. Which really bites, if you think about it. Self-sabotage, anyone?

Now this is bugging me.

I don't want to get hurt. Is that cliche? Yes. But I'm not talking "hurt" in some deep, profound way. I'm just talking about the typical teenager "hurt." You know the kind. "They're not talking to me!" "She said I look like crap!" "Why are they always talking about me?"

Oh my God. I am a snob. I do talk about people. Everyone has a nickname, everyone gets a comment, everyone...oh geez.

But I'm not!

Oyyyyyyyyyyy. I have no clue what I'm doing anymore.